oops...i did it again

I don't have rhythm, and I'm not particularly graceful.

It's one of my quirks, and also the reason I stood on the sidelines at high school dances.

The only dancing I've ever really done has been on crowded dance floors in bars and at weddings—and that only happened because of generous servings of liquid courage.

Take a look for yourself. This is a clip JB secretly filmed when I got caught in a dance-off at our friend's wedding last fall.

Clearly, I hadn't indulged in enough wine during dinner. He said, you absolutely must put this on your blog, which loosely translates to: let your readers see the real you. 


Even so, this time last year, I went out onto a stage to show my daughter you don't have to be good at something to be great.

When the opportunity came to give it another twirl, I said yes again.

But this time, I did it for me.

Just me.




You see, another trait of mine is predictability—I'm not much of a risk-taker. 

I won't ever bungee jump, sky dive, or walk across a suspension bridge. 

Writing this blog is the riskiest thing I've ever done.

I live my life wearing a lot of safety harnesses.

And I don't know if it's parenthood or this magic my girlfriends keep telling me about when you leave your 30s behind, but I'm doing my best to take more chances.

I want to keep surprising myself and the people in my life—harnesses be damned. 




Truth? I actually hesitated to do it again.

First time—fun and silly?

Second time—self-indulgent and predictable?

I felt the strain of the harness again—of caring too much what other people think—and it felt really uncomfortable.

As much as this decision was for me, one of my great wishes is to raise children who know when it's okay, and even good, to jump without knowing where they will land. 


And it's amazing how you can be so sure you're doing something that's just for you, only to discover they're watching and learning and reminding you that everything you do is really for them.

When our three-year-old called out from the back seat on the way to school the day after, 

Mama, do you remember when you went to the fee-a-ter and danced in a pink shirt? That was so great! 

 I met her eyes in the rearview mirror,

Yes I do, sweetheart. And yes, it was.



{There's my ankle and it's in the right position!}






Elan Morgan

Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works through Elan.Works and is a designer and content editor at GenderAvenger. They have been seen in the Globe & Mail, Best Health, Woman's Day, and Flow magazines and at TEDxRegina and on CBC News and Radio. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.