How I Was Surprised by The Fault In Our Stars


My twelve-year-old has always been a bookworm, like me.

I never end a day without spending some time in the pages of a book, and she is the same.

She happily sat on our laps while we read book after book to her as a baby—her chubby, dimpled hands unable to turn the pages quickly enough.

In grade three, she plowed through the entire Harry Potter series (she has since read it again 27 times). She is the kind of reader who gets so excited about a good book that she absolutely has to find a friend to pass it on to—so she can enjoy it all over again.

This Christmas, she received The Fault In Our Stars from a family member. I had seen it in the teen section of the bookstore and heard some favourable reviews, but I didn't know much about the details of the story. I knew she could manage the reading level, but otherwise forgot about it with the busyness of the holiday season. 

I didn't know she had started reading it without asking me. I found out when she left it on my bedside table, because she thought I should read it, too.

I remember seeing it there and feeling a bit lost. Our roles had been reversed. I wasn't the one leaving books like Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables beside her bed.

It felt too grown up and too soon.

This week, the book finally made it to the top of my reading pile. A few late nights brought me to its end last night. 

My thoughts felt so jumbled, while reading this book, that I felt desperate to air them. And I realized the only person I could do that with was her.

I actually wanted to barge into her room somewhere between chapters one and two, but held off until the end.

This morning I found her eyes and held them while the preparation for a school day bustled around us. 

I finished the book last night. 

She waited.

We have a lot to talk about.

She nodded.

But, Mommy, wasn't the writing beautiful?

I held my tears.

When she read Harry Potter, there was a twinge of concern it was too mature for her at eight years old. But she assured us that she understood the fantasy aspect of the storytelling and was not scared by its content. 

The Fault In Our Stars is fiction, but it is not fantasy. There are children and families that face the realities of this story every day.

She would have known that when she read it, and she would have felt the weight of that understanding.

Her heart has always been in tune with the sorrows of others. It was hard to imagine how battered she must have felt reading those words or how much courage she had to summon to keep reading.

There are big emotions in this story. There are complex dynamics between the characters and concepts like love and sexuality, which we haven't talked about yet.

There is death, and grief, and loss.

There is a lot of pain.

As I reached the final pages of the book, I felt all of that wash over me and I thought of her doing the same. If I had read this book first, like I had planned to, I think I would have held onto it for awhile. 

And I would have missed this beautiful moment.

This book must have changed her.  

And I felt a hitch in my heart knowing it happened without me. 


{paperlovespen on etsy

I'm waiting for her to get home from school, and I don't know what I'll say or where our conversation will go—we have a lot of topics to touch on. I know she shared this with me, because she wants to talk about it.

And I can hardly gather my thoughts around the swell in my chest, knowing she chose me instead of a friend.

In 313 pages, she stepped outside of the place I've tried to keep her: where I turn down the radio, change the television channel, hide the section of the newspaper with the bad news.

And though she didn't need my help to stand there, she does need it to stay there. 

She has shown me once again that some of the most exquisite moments in parenthood reveal themselves after I've stumbled and while I'm searching for my footing. 

This book tells a story that makes people cry.

I cried, too.

But my tears didn't fall for the characters found on its pages.

I cried for the girl who lay awake in the room next to mine and turned them. 



Read More

a 365 day cookbook {Giveaway}


Almost six years ago, I grabbed Rachael's "Express Lane Meals" from a book store shelf and made it my own. I have a foggy memory of seeing her on a daytime talk show, which I am certain I was watching while nursing a new baby in a very messy family room—big sister at kindergarten and the boy napping upstairs. Yes, that's right: three kids in four years.

Express meals, indeed.

And her book did not disappoint. It's been on my go-to shelf of cookbooks ever since. {Chicken with Scallion-Lime Sauce and Sweet Carrot Rice!!!}

When my friends at Simon & Schuster asked me to review Rachael's newest book "My Year in Meals", I couldn't wait to start cooking.

You see, the baby is growing up and my time in the kitchen is getting longer. The day has come for me to tackle new (and fancy) recipes. This cookbook includes recipes for: breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, and dessert. Over 500 possibilities broken down by month, day of the week, and time of day.

Ribs are always well-received at this house and with a weekend ahead of us, I decided to pour a little bourbon. Like a lot of Rachael's recipes, the other ingredients were already in my cupboards.


After preppring the ribs, the sauce ended up taking less than 10 minutes to prepare (add 20 minutes to simmer). Once the ribs were dressed, I popped them into the broiler for 10 minutes. In warmer weather, I'll definitely be trying this recipe on the BBQ.


{Clearly my husband needs a lesson in food photography}


And just in case you were wondering what to do with the leftover Bourbon, this wonderful cookbook has an added bonus. Turn it over and you'll find more than 100 cocktail recipes by Rachael's husband, John Cusimano (this is a guy who knows how food should be photographed).

What about you? Do you like to spend time in the kitchen?  

Tell me in the comments below and I'll randomly choose one lucky reader to receive a complimentary copy of "My Year in Meals" by Rachael Ray courtesy of our generous friends at Simon & Schuster Canada.

The winner will be selected January 30th. 

Open to Canadian Residents only.

Hurry - you've got 365 days of cooking ahead of you.


Read More


InsideInside by Alix Ohlin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is my first Alix Ohlin book, but it won't be the last. I adored this book. Her ability to reveal the complex layers of human interaction and introspection was reminiscent of Carol Shields. The storyline is compelling, tragic and beautiful, like the characters she brings to the reader. The Montreal setting and winter scenes make this novel a perfect read for this time of year.

View all my reviews
Read More


Why Men LieWhy Men Lie by Linden MacIntyre
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I am always drawn to books by Canadian authors and thoroughly enjoy immersing myself in a familiar landscape. This book is set in both Toronto and on the East Coast. It is a beautifully told story, which is accessible to all readers. MacIntyre's ability to write from a female perspective was astounding. I was continuously surprised by the voice of Effie and developed a great fondness for her character. And even though we are meant to dislike her former husband for his indiscretions, MacIntyre captures his vulnerability and beautifully weaves the shared childhood of the characters in a way that makes the reader root for all of them.

View all my reviews
Read More